Quarter Life Crisis

I wake up everyday morning feeling miserable about everything. Irrespective of whether I get up on my right or wrong side, there is this invisible headache that follows me wherever I go, till I hit the bed again in the night. I kind of glide through life like a Moldy Peaches song, blissfully unaware or ignorant of the things around. My relationships had a meteor hit recently and are smashed out of recognition. My parents think I am the dumbest person on the face of this Earth.(I have to actually give it to them!) Girls think I am no marriage material. Friends think I am too crazy to be entertained among them, even for the 'shock value'.

I used to think that I am in some terrible mess till I read an article recently. According to this, I might be having what they call the 'Quarter Life Crisis [QLC], a condition of dissatisfaction, depression and dejection felt by those in their late twenties or early thirties!! So this is something that happens halfway through your journey towards 'Mid Life Crisis'. Thank goodness, I at least belong somewhere, I am really not 'unacceptable'. The article goes on to say the ten ways to get out of this and so on. But who wants to get out of it, after a long time I found something to affiliate myself with. I should rather scout for some 'QLC Anonymous' groups where morons like me congregate.

I for one, never acknowledged the existence of dejection till now. It is unbeleivable to find out what a drag it actually is. As the wise men say 'Nobody can feel things for you, you have to do it yourself'. But looks like there is somebody who thinks I still brings luck... the rickshaw guy near my home. If I ever need a ride and he is around, he will happily volunteer, especially if its in the morning. He once told me 'Aapka savaari mereliye lucky hein', like the dialogue in one of those soap commercials. I used to trust people till they prove otherwise, but no more. So I did not take his remark seriously. But when I saw him denying another person's request as I walked towards the taxi stand, made me realize he probably meant what he said. Its good to know you are not unacceptable to everyone!!!

There is a Nancy Sinatra song which goes something like 'You only live twice, one for your dreams and one for you'. My first life for dreams had a near fatal accident a while ago. It gave birth to a stillborn, a half developed sort-of-child. But however deformed the baby be, what can console the mother who carried the little thing in her womb all this time. Setbacks in life make you learn things the hard way. They are like those 'impositions' I used to get at school for not doing things the right way. If you don't care to understand things the simple way, you get to learn them at a cost.

But every coin has two sides; you come out of every setback a tad stronger, a tad wiser and obviously a tad older as well. You know life will never be the same again, you know the skies won't turn true blue ever again, you notice the wind has toned down its pitch by a half note; but you learn to live with the changes. Who knows, I might even live thrice; one for my fantasies as well.

Something in the air tells me everything's gonna be allright, come September!!

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