Hey, Leave those kids alone !

I never thought attending an exhibition of schools would be such fun. Trust me, it is. All the fifty or so schools there, had 'state of the art infrastructure', providing 'holistic education', 'based on ethics and driven by technology', 'in a homely environment', where your kids grow up to become world dominators. Though the vision is the same, they have vastly varied ideas on the 'How' and 'How much' part of it. Some believe that it is crucial for the child to learn Equestrian in pre-school, while some others feel that a basic course in Object Oriented technology will help kindergarten students appreciate the objects around them better. There are a few who wants to inspire your 5 year old kid with a visit to the NASA or a tour of the Europe. Some of these schools got weekend classes on Aeromodeling and Electronics as well. What are we trying to do ? Making Einsteins out of every kid by the time he or she is ten? What about that ridiculously irrelevant phase of life we fondly used to call 'Childhood'?

I heard a parent saying the other day 'I want to make my kid a Doctor. I don't know whether he is interested, but I will make him a doctor'. There is perhaps nothing wrong with the intend, but there is something terribly wrong with the approach. When we are kids, we are urged to transform all our interests into money making ventures called careers. If you like to stare at the stars as a kid, you should become an Astronomer; if you can paint, you should become a Graphics Designer and so on. When the parents are so concerned about their kids' future and paranoid about their ability to choose their own paths, it is not right to blame the schools alone for this fiasco. They are ready to shell out those extra bucks, to make their kids learn Java and speak five different languages by the time they get out of pre-school.

So you have decided to give your kid the best education. Don't think you can just walk into one of these schools, show some cash and get an admission for your kid. A friend of mine and his wife have already attended six interviews for the pre-nursery admission of their kid. Both the parents were drilled with questions on their reading habits, leisure time activities and political affiliations in addition to inquiries on financial status and career aspirations. They all prefer to teach kids of professionals who play golf and read Kafka & Camus, to the average Joe from the Department store, who has a degree in Sociology and reads Sidney Sheldon. Yes, Pedigree is important. How else do you expect your three year old kid to discuss the fine points of existentialism and the three layered approach towards software design, on the dinner table? Aha.. like me, you thought schools are institutions which take any half-wit, and transform him into Donald Trump!

When my friend's kid took a few seconds to answer the questions posed by the blazer wearing, straight faced moron, sitting in a stuffy room which is Mars for the kid, he commented that the kid is too shy and they expect kids to be a little more smarter by the time they are two years and six months! In the name of holy Isis, I would have punched the tomatoes out of him if he had told this about my kid. But I shouldn't forget the fact that I am raising kids as Gladiators, who can thrill and entertain the world with their superb skill and talent, in exchange for a loud applause and a little space in the history books. He might not get a chance to enjoy the rain or hold his beloved to his heart's content; but then those are issues that really doesn't matter!

Looks like I am terribly under-informed on the subject of raising successful kids. My children would definitely grow up to become retards who know nothing about harpooning a whale or migrating to Jupiter.