I want a state of my own..

If you ask about the finest moments of 2009, I might take a minute or two to come up with my list. But if the question is who is the most unscrupulous and idiotic fellow of the past year, I will answer without the slightest hesitation - K Chandrasekhar Rao, the dumb ass who held the whole country to ransom with his stupid idea of a separate state.

It is such a ridiculous thing even to expect a state to be formed or an existing one to be divided based on one person's whims and fancies. Criminal is the intend to upset the peaceful life of people in a whole state for his political mileage. I don't think he himself or anybody else with some gray matter inside their head would believe that this separate state will ever come into existence. All he wanted after 11 days of fasting was a face saving gesture from the central government's side to end his fast. Even if Sonia Gandhi had worn a pink sari, he would have shown that as positive intend and ended his fast. He might even win the 'Stupidest person of the century' award if nominated, though there will still be tough competition from Paris Hilton.

On the other hand, his buffoonery has in turn spawned a few other initiatives. Irrespective of past differences, people in my apartment have finally decided to come out of the closets, and campaign together to get Union Territory status for our apartment complex. After all, it takes just a few days of fasting. The aunty who used to frown at me for the loud music and late night noise have suddenly started offering breakfast and snacks, thanks to K Chandrasekhar Rao. We have wisely decided to start the campaign only in January; the plum cakes are too good to forgo even if its for a social cause. Canvasing has already started for cabinet minister posts, such is the confidence we have, thanks to the KCR antics.

We are soon floating a new company as well, one which offers 'outsourced fasting solutions' for all those who are involved in the noble profession of indefinite fasting, for their own states or even smaller administrative units. We have tentatively named the company 'Fast Forward', and is planning to offer strategic, operational and tactical help in fasting and related services. The recruitment drive will soon start across the country, for volunteers interested in cooperating with us on this. To make the whole process a lot more appealing to the younger generation, we are planning to tie up with 'VLCC Weight Loss Programs' as well. What if you can kill two elephants with a single stone - be part of the historic effort to create two or more fighting factions out of a peaceful and prosperous state, and also get a toned body in the process. I am afraid we might even get the next Nobel prize for the most ingenious business idea.

'Fast Forward' will have an education wing as well, to sensitivise people on the benefits of having their own states and union territories. A lot of people are still not aware of the simplicity of the whole process as well. We are also trying to propagate the idea of using them as marriage or house warming gifts. Imagine giving your son-in-law a whole state instead of a car or an acre of land. The possibilities are in fact unlimited.

Somebody's stupidity is somebody else's inspiration!