The Adventures of Roby Doodle !

I was struggling to get some sleep last night..its so elusive when you yearn for it and will come uninvited when there is some work to be done. Even 20 minutes after hitting the bed, my eyes were refusing to close.. that devil's workshop of a mind busy plotting new schemes. Then came this phone call from my friend Rob, who was traveling to Chennai by train. The thought brought into mind some nice feelings.

I always loved sleeping in the train and do miss those moments as I rarely travel by train nowadays. Though the train is so noisy generally, nights are so peaceful.. you have the rhythmic 'chuk chuk' to listen to and be in harmony with and before you realize, you are asleep. I am not sure what makes sleeping in train so great. I do suspect its the to and fro movement that gently rocks you, as if you are in a cradle...bringing you that peace and serenity you used to enjoy as a kid. mmm...another indication of my retarded brain. I never believed when some teachers told me about my under(un)developed brain. Instead, I used to think like Woody Allen that I was sent to a school for mentally retarded teachers. But they were so right. Behavioral psychologists might argue that these are musings of an unsatisfied mind.. craving for more of childhood. Is it that I did not get to enjoy the cradle as much as I would have liked to? Should probably check with Mom on this.

Rob had called to share some of the adventures he had on his train journeys. In fact he called while he was successfully executing one of them! He locked himself in the toilet for one good crap and as he was on with the process, the train stopped at some station. He did not want to come out of the toilet and claim responsibility for all the air pollution while the train is stalled at the station. So he waited and waited hoping that its a short routine stop. He was blissfully unaware of the fact that the train was indefinitely stopped there to facilitate crossing of another train. By the time the train slowly moved out of the station he had developed serious cramps on both his legs. He loves the Indian style toilets a lot more now a days!

And if you think that is not funny, you should listen to the next one. Rob is usually a smart dude, especially when he is not feeling sleepy. He thinks about the Physics and Chemistry of everything before doing anything and execute it in the most Biologically efficient manner. He was on his way to Delhi this time. After a sumptuous dinner, he wanted to clean his mouth and wisely decided to do it standing by the door, ignoring the poor wash basin near it. He wanted to see whether rainbows are formed in the night as well, as he sprays out the water from his mouth. He calculated that if he spits out the water in the direction the train is moving, the wind will bring it all back on to his face. So with a smile on his face he turned the other way round, extended his head outside and expressed his creativity by spitting the water in a double helix! He felt good that none of the water came back at him. But he saw something fly past him into the dark, but could not make out what it was, as the world around turned into just a blur. It took a minute for him to realise that it was his spectacles that flew away with the wind!

If you are still not impressed, I am sure this one is going to blow the lid off your useless heads. On his maiden trip to Delhi, Rob's mom did not want him to spoil his stomach by eating all the crap available on the platforms. So she had nicely packed a few cups of instant noodles into his bag. She had instructed him to ask for hot water from the pantry and prepare the noodles. But being smart right from childhood, Rob had other plans in his mind. Though he now claims that he was shy to ask the pantry guys for hot water, I am pretty sure that he just wanted to test out another one of his ingenious ideas. His logic was like this - How do you boil water? You need fire or electricity, which are essentially different forms of energy. So if all you need to boil water is a source of energy, why not use the mother of all energy sources - the sun? Happy with the theory, he now decided to test it practically as well. He took a bottle of water in his hand and extended it out through the window into the sun. He knew that he just had to hold it long enough to boil the water! (Off the record, rob claims that he indeed had cup noodles that day!)

I know making fun of people is a sin. How much can you humiliate a person without getting your access denied to paradise? I am not sure, but what the heck, nothing remains in my stomach anyway. I rather tell this one last story than ensure my acceptance in paradise. Rob had an RAC ticket this time which he promptly offered to the ticket examiner when asked. The TT scribbled something on the ticket and gave it back as well. Rob managed to pass the day by shifting from one seat to another, talking to people around to see whether any one of them will be interested in offering him a seat for the night. Finally one of the gentlemen was kind enough to let him share his berth. So they sat all night talking about Pakistan, Afghanistan, Beluchistan and what not! Another day, another TT and Rob politely asked him whether he can allot him a berth. The TT looked at the ticket and told that he has already been allotted a berth, the empty one he was staring at all night, across the compartment. So that is what the ticket examiner scribbled the day before.

Enough of train trash. I better run and hide before Rob finds out about this!