No, I did not pick up writing to make fun of other people, as I don't have anything write-worthy happening in my own life. I actually started it as a time killing alternative during the school internal exams which then became kind of a compulsive disorder. I know it is not proper to laugh at your friends or neighbours, let alone write about them. But this one time I have to do exactly that... who knows I might stop right after this.

Let us call this dude Gumaltti, a fine young man except for the high levels of Paranoia he proudly carries around. I'll let him describe it for you.. "Don't laugh, I will be ready and prepared when the shit comes down, while you will be just wondering what hit you". As that reference of 'you' in the quote is me, you might be concluding I have gone nuts in making fun of such a fine piece of advise. I rather let you take the call by the end of this post.

Gumaltti has a top of the line laptop with him, but has no Flash or Active X installed in it. I first thought he is some Steve Jobs fan who followed the master's advice not to have Flash. But the real reason is that some friend once told Gumaltti that all the malicious stuff on the internet gets into the personal computers through these two horrible plug ins! So from that day Gumaltti is living without Flash or Active X. Unable to handle this wisdom, I asked him 'So, how will you view something that has a Flash component?'. Phat came the reply 'I will go to an Internet Cafe. I don't want to take chances with my laptop'.

Last weekend I found Gumaltti in a particularly disturbed mood. I saw him walking back and forth his bike a few times in the afternoon and I couldn't resist asking. Then he told that somebody's bike got stolen from the neighborhood a few weeks back. But I couldn't connect the incident with his restlessness. The connecting story goes something like this. Gumaltti gave his bike for servicing at some garage and the mechanic's assistant took it for a test ride after the job. According to Gumaltti, such a test ride should take just a few minutes, but this lad came back only after 17 minutes. Gumaltti suspects that this boy at the garage would have made a duplicate key for the bike, which he might use at some later point of time to lift the bike! As I stood there with my mouth wide open, he got into the details on why his guess is not a mere 'guess'.

1. While the lad was getting late, Gumaltti asked the garage owner for the boy's mobile phone number and the owner refused. So these two must be partners in crime!

2. The boy at the garage must be working for pretty low wages and the only way he can make more money is by joining hands with the vehicle stealing gang. Now we have the motive!

3. There were newspaper reports about gangs which operate in this manner; the mechanic-keymaker-vehicle thief nexus. What more evidence you need to corroborate?

I don't argue with Gumaltti most of the times because a few times I did I was called careless and stupid. But looks like Paranoia is not an aberration, but the norm these days. How else will you explain the existence of firms selling 'Key-chain-radiation-detector', a must-own for every one, just in case the neighborhood gets nuked and you got to figure out an escape route? Or those who sell bio-survival-kits with storable food, seed packets and a make-your-own-fuel apparatus, that helps you survive possible biological or chemical weapon attacks in the future?

We look forward to the future or just live the todays in fear of the uncertain tomorrows? Or perhaps I am just being careless and mumbling about the ones who are not.


Anonymous said...

some people are just too weird. I feel sorry for you for taking the time to understand him.

attiDuDe said...

Oh no! I don't regret even a minute of that time. Everybody has a story and its definitely worth a listen.

Anonymous said...

How I wish to have patience like you! That's truly wise of you.

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