4 reasons to watch the 1st half of Enthiran !

Let me make myself clear, I am not suggesting that you should watch just the first half of Enthiran. It is that I cannot comment on the second half as I was forcibly removed from the theater a short while after the interval. Couple of my friends told that I did deserve every bit of that treatment, though they had a difference in opinion about the exact reason. While one attributed it to the excessive sound of my snoring, the other placed it one degree higher - the arrogance and utter irreverence of sleeping through a movie of his Rajniness.

I know that I am kind of late to come up with a review on Enthiran. Grady Hendrix has already written much about the awesomeness of the miracle birth, mysterious evolution and elevation to fame of Rajnikanth. In a momentary lapse of consciousness induced by jet-lag, India Today editor Aroon Purie also shamelessly reused a part of the Grady article in an edition of the magazine dedicated to the superstar from 'Tamilnadu, a south Indian state'. I also understand that I am trying to comprehend something which is beyond my grasp, like trying to explain what prompts a dog to lift its leg every time it sees a telephone pole. But anyway, let me add my two cents to what has already been said about his Rajniness.

The Double Role
We all know that no one character can completely accommodate all the acting power of Rajnikant. You cannot let the same character be a Rocket scientist and a rock band guitarist, right? Effectively that prevents his Rajniness from showing off his mathematical and riffing abilities in the same movie. He needs a range of different characters to express his talent properly and that is where Enthiran has at least tried to do some justice. By acting as the villain and the hero, his Rajniness has showcased the two contrasting extremes of his acting repertoire here. Don't think it is easy to wear a wig and act loony one moment and then switch to a funny robotic attire and blast cars the very next!

It's a name changer
Rajni movies are always game changers. While some idiotic movie makers spend years writing the script and scouting for shooting locations, the wise ones down south just rope in his Rajniness and think of the story during post production. But this time the movie is not just a game changer, but a name changer. I just heard that the Peruvian government is planning to officially change the name of Machu Pichu to Kilimanjaro. That is the only option available, as their tourism department now receives an average 300K inquiries a week about the right time to visit Kilimanjaro. That is the power of his Rajniness.. he shot a song titled 'Kilimanjaro' in front of Machu Pichu and half the world now thinks it is Kilimanjaro. I personally think it is a good move by the Peruvian government, as his Rajniness CAN (and only he can) hold an apple and say it is a pig, almost immediately ratifying the old Greek belief that pigs are grown on trees. I always had this suspicion that he is the one behind the Madras-Chennai, Bombay-Mumbai name changes!

The Science
There are so many hypotheses floating around in the academic and scientific circles about the awesomeness of Rajnikant. Though most people (except for the Japanese) think that Rajni movies are all about idiotic and impossible stunts, I personally think Rajni is probably the very proof of time travel, wormholes, multiple universes and the Grand Unification theory wrapped into one. They say two dimensions or universes only differ by the outcome of a quantum event. So if a quantum event has a particular outcome in our universe, some other universe would have had the opposite outcome as well! So for all those logic defying acts, all Rajnikant needs to do is to travel between the different universes and guide the desirable outcome to our own. I bet he uses time-travel to accomplish this feat, through wormholes between the dimensions. And to do something of this magnitude, you wouldn't argue if I say that Rajnikant needs absolute control over the electric, weak & strong forces of Nature. In short his Rajniness IS that what unifies all the forces of nature - proof of the Grand Unification Theory people like Einstein were searching for ages.

His Rajniness
I for one never underestimated his Rajniness. But if you really want to get sloshed by it, watch 'The Expendables' before the Eindhran experience. Both the movies got a sexagenarian acting as the protagonist. While Sylvester Rambo Stallone looks like carrying a glued-together, botox-filled face on his shoulders, his Rajniness shines like the sun with his wrinkle-free, pimple-less face. I could even see the reflection of Aishwarya Rai on his face whenever she came close to him. What do you mean 'Its all makeup'? It wasn't available in the Holy-woods for Mr. stallone or what? And with all the muscles and inflated body, Mr. Rambo could handle only a Noveske N4 in The Expendables, while his Rajniness was celebrating an early Diwali with half a dozen Bazookas in Eindhran, that too with his left hand.

So the final score,: His Rajniness - 2, John Rambo - 0.
Do I need to say more?