The Men Who Stare at Goats

I should have gone ahead and sacrificed that goat the last time I had a bad experience during travel. Or when misfortune struck many times before that. But I just made fun of Hermes, boasted that there is no God of travel; that even if there is one he is busy picking on his opponents. I was terribly wrong in my assumptions and HE got back at me with vengeance. Looks like I have to put a leash on my blasphemous outbursts.

She looked almost like a female version of Jesus Christ...all the charm minus the mustache and the beard. I was on my way back home after visiting my cousin and she came and sat opposite to me in the bus. She had pink nail polish on, and was wearing a striped T-shirt. Though the horizontal stripes made her look a little chubby, I gave her a 9.5 on 10 in the looks department. As soon as she settled down, she had a gulp of water from the water bottle, stroked a strand of hair off her face and took out a book from her hand bag. I myself was reading 'Almost Like a Whale' and was eager to know what she got. But before I could figure out the title she opened the book and started reading. It is kind of an uncontrollable itch for me, till I find out what the other person is reading... just curiosity. So I kept looking up from my book every now and then, hoping to get a glimpse of the title.

Though I was very discreet in my attempts not to catch her attention, eventually she got wind of my glances. Two fiery eyes rose up from behind the book and directed a beam of deadly laser straight at my face. Then only I noticed that she was resting the book on her well endowed bosom, using it as a book-rest, and I've been constantly staring that way! I realized the blunder and looked apologetically at her. How can you explain a female-in-fury that you were looking at the titles and not at her vitals? I thought she might jump up from her seat and shout at the top of her voice. I had by then closed my eyes in anticipation of her Jesus fingers anointing my cheeks, but she was perhaps the forgiving kind! She shrugged her shoulders in contempt, stood up in a jiffy, and walked away to another empty seat towards the rear of the bus.

She was reading 'The Golden Gate' by Vikram Seth,... not 'The Men Who Stare at Goats'.


Unknown said...

u r lovely in writting and expressing the activity which took place. really admirable

attiDuDe said...

@Reetu: Thanks much :)

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