The Great Indian inter-faith marriage !

My sister got married recently. An otherwise happy and benign occasion unfortunately got branded an 'evil affair' by some folks, as she chose to marry someone from another faith. The situation necessitated me taking the official spokesperson's role on behalf of the immediate family. Though my job started on a scary note, it became increasingly interesting a role, as I learned not to reason or argue but listen and nod instead. The ones who called me to offer condolences though did get a sermon for free.

As the drama slowly unfolded, everyone including the neighbor's cow had an opinion. A lot of relatives whom I had classified as hardliners turned out to be moderates while those who were considered liberals turned out to be Ayatollah Khomenis. Though no fatwas were declared, each one of these funny characters did try their best to influence the situation and elicit a favorable outcome out of it. I know I cannot point fingers at the septuagenarians and sexagenarians of the lot; it is difficult to change your convictions and beliefs after walking the earth for more than half a century. But I was taken by surprise with the reaction of some of the more-educated, younger folks... many of which I completely understood later on further scrutiny!

The priests and nuns in the family (yes, we too have our share of them) were the most upset of the lot; understandably so. For them it is important to hold on, proclaim and protect the faith; else how can they justify all the sacrifices they have made in the name of it. For someone who has submitted their entire life for religion, any attempt to rock the boat is a threat to their very existence. So when they advised the parents to renounce their daughter as she walk away from THE God and THE Path, I could only smile. Some of them had clever ways of putting across the point. One of the nun-aunts called my sister, congratulated her on the marriage and appreciated her on the choice as well. While my sister was trying to come in terms with the unexpected compliments, my aunt quietly threw in a Trojan - 'This is an opportunity for you to get an entire family to know Jesus Christ'. Hallelujah!

Another acquaintance came home to 'educate' my parents on how their decision to let my sister marry an 'outsider' is against THE book. She had also brought with her a propaganda pamphlet on the evils of inter-faith marriage, written by some self proclaimed spiritual leader of the church. This book had excerpts from the Bible, occasions when it talk about the consequences of marrying from outside the Israel community. The gentleman who wrote this booklet had quoted from the Bible without explaining the context and had carefully omitted passages that go against his argument. I enjoyed telling this acquaintance, the story of God supporting the decision of Moses in marrying a non-Israelite woman (Numbers, Chapter 12). That kind of settled the issue at least for then. I wrote a letter to the priest who wrote the booklet about his work, but haven't received a reply yet; not that I expected one.

There were a few others who stayed away for another interesting reason. They didn't want their kids to think that the resistance from family is just a matter of few days, and things will be alright after that. What if the kids pick up a cue and follow suit? So they wanted the family to disown my sister, so that 'other kids in the family' don't make an example of this and choose their life partners outside the faith. Nice try..eh..?

In a generation where people are already fighting each other in the name of religion, I don't think this mentality helps. We create a divide among kids when they are young, by preaching they are a superior race, God's chosen people etc. Then how do we expect them to coexist and co-operate later in life, with the so called lesser mortals? We don't realize that these kind of fanatic teachings at a young age have lasting effect on their impressionable minds, often critically affecting their future decision making.