What is it with us?

What make us disregard relationships? Is it just the cheap thrill a breakup provides or the false sense of freedom loneliness offers or the selfish survival instinct to look for better alternatives? Something has to fuel this otherwise painful phenomenon where parents abandon their kids, lovers leave their loved ones and children dump their parents in old age homes. Is comfort and its close cousin greed, the new affection and selflessness of the world? Have we taken sides with competition and mercilessly butchered empathy and truthfulness?

I had decided a few days back to stop whining about things around me and start thinking constructively. I am no saint to pretend to understand the ways of the world and offer sermons on the righteousness of life. I know there are many ways to reach Rome and none of them is better than the other. But there are times when I put on my complaining persona and start blabbering gibberish. I just cannot help it at times. Whatever be the circumstances, can a mother decide to abandon a kid which she carried inside for nine to ten months? If she was forced to do that, I feel equally responsible with the society, for making her do that, so that she becomes more acceptable or comfortable in her life. Remember, we used to frown at the Spartans, calling them barbarians, for getting rid of the deformed or malnourished new born babies.

All abandoned children are not result of illicit affairs, a large number of them happen as the parents feel incapable of taking care of the new born. Anyone who goes through such a traumatic experience might be knowing that the memories will haunt them all their life as well. If that is the case, if that is the kind of value system we manage to build into our young men and women, then I think as a society we are a big failure. I know this is probably one of the many arguments to reach the same conclusion, that we have screwed up. What can we do to avoid situations like this? Taking good care of the abandoned kids might help in the interim, but we all know that's no permanent cure. Orphanages are a necessity of the present, but definitely not a solution for the future. They will only evolve into a comfortable arrangement, acting as collection centres for babies, where parents can drop them without feeling much of a heartbreak. More like the glorified Old-Age-Homes, where you can 'abandon' your parents to the care of professionals, feigning discomfort and incapability!

This is a two part problem, the first being a question of personal convictions. Any relationship needs a lot of patience and perseverance for its success. If we let go of these two in our mad rush for comfort and better opportunities, more kids will be abandoned, more hearts will be broken and more tears will be shed. Being opportunistic is no crime perhaps, but the cost we pay in terms of destroyed dreams, devastated lives and carried-forward regret, might not be really worth it in the long run. This basic sustenance-philosophy, which seems to be missing from our education system, provides the personal conviction to face relationships responsibly.

Equally important is the role of society in providing a conducive environment, where parents are not threatened by their inability to provide the kids 'everything' they need. The ever expanding scope of 'basic needs' has already attained monstrous proportions. It is high time we move away from the competition and comparison oriented lifestyle and let life reclaim its 'life'.

I know, easier said than done!